April 20, 2013

{Unconventional} Marriage Secrets Day 6

{Unconventional} Marriage Secret # 5:Pray For Each Other- Together and Apart

      I know this sounds like a no brainer, but it's one of those things you don't realize works until you actually put it into practice. There are two parts- praying for each other together and praying for each other while apart.

I see all of these cutesy little things on Pinterest like "31 Days of Prayer for Your Husband" or "10 Ways to Pray for Your Husband." Those are fine and dandy if you need something to follow. I am not knocking them whatsoever. But I fear many ladies out there may use these tools to just go through the motions and check off their 'wife duty' for the day without really realizing the power and importance of prayer for your mate.

Did you know that when you pray for someone it softens your heart towards them? Don't believe me? Think of someone you are in strife with or someone who just really makes you crazy. Make it a point to pray for them daily. It may not be today or tomorrow but over time, the Lord will soften your heart towards that person.  When Michael and I are going through a difficult time, if I just stop and pray for him, my heart is softer and much more approachable.  When you pray, you are initiating a voluntary conversation with God, creating an atmosphere where the Holy Spirit is much more welcome to speak His truth.

       Praying together is something we still struggle with. I think because it makes us so vulnerable. We never even actually did it until a couple of years ago and we both admit we need to do it more. Have you ever prayed for your spouse where they can physically hear you? There is something so humbling about it. When you hear your spouse talk to the Lord about you it speaks volumes about the way he sees you.

Becca must be going soft. This is the most sugar coated post she's written yet! Here's the truth, friends. We suck at this!! 

Right now we are going through it. Our 6 year old is going through some things emotionally, our middle one is mad at the world and yells about everything, and our baby has to have tubes next week. Add to that I am in the busiest and most trying time I've ever been through professionally. I barely have time to think. We are going through some transitions as it relates to church. We are starting a slight remod to the home. Everything is tumultuous. 

We are great about trudging through things. We can take a lick and keep on going. Neither of us rests well let alone pray well. Becca and I can fight things out. We can talk and figure stuff out. I love to solve problems. I can see things before they happen. I can figure out what Becca is really thinking and diagnose root cause (she hates that). Unfortunately, the last thing we do with one another is sit down and pray about things together. 

Usually my quick wit and condescending tone wins out over a careful, contemplative, and prayerful heart. If you have read any of our blogs lately I hope you will see a couple of themes. One major theme is intentionality. If we are not intentional about making time for and prioritizing things that matter, they will not happen. This is a place where we are not giving advice. We are offering you insight into our struggle and inviting you to struggle with us. 

How do you and your spouse make time to pray and hear God together?