May 30, 2013

Giving Back: West, Texas

***Update-- I started the following post a few weeks ago before the tragedy that occurred just north of us in Norman, OK.   I finished it today with both towns still heavy in my heart.  

    About 2 weeks ago, a fertilizer plant in the town of West, Texas caught fire and exploded. The quaint little town of merely 2,800 residents lost 14 of their own. Beyond the lives lost, homes, schools, churches, and business were destroyed. People were displaced out of their homes, but also the water supply of most of the town was shut off due to contamination.
    West is about 60 miles south of Dallas, and roughly 85 miles south of where we live in Frisco. It's known to many of us post college folks as the 'Czech Town'. Anyone making a road trip on southbound I35 towards Austin or to float the river, has stopped in West to enjoy a tasty treat from one of many of it's Czech bakeries. Michael also happens to have family in the town. So we decided to rally up some of our blessings and make a trip down to visit and bless others.
     In just a couple of days, from our neighbors and preschool, we collected this entire truckload of supplies as well as a few hundred dollars in gift cards! The good news is that the residents didn't need much food. Food and meals were coming in from other sources. The bad news is that every single thing was contaminated so people needed cleaning supplies that were water-free.

We woke up early on a Saturday morning and loaded up all 3 Caney boys in the back seat and headed South with our loot.  Earlier during the week I had connected with Michael's aunt & cousin who were working in the heart of the relief. They told me that the main support location- the fairgrounds in West, had run out of room to store donated supplies and that only money was needed. The news was saying the same thing. I already had a wagon load full of stuff that had come in, I couldn't not go, right? So I prayed about it and did a little research. I thought, surely, in a town like that, and here in the Bible belt, one of the first places people will go for help will be churches. So I just typed 'church West, Tx' into Maps on my phone. Number one on the list was the First Baptist Church of West, Texas. I called and spoke with a man who worked there and told him I had a truck of supplies and no where to take them. He told me, "Yes, we can take them! We are feeding people but also giving them a place to shower." 

We pulled into West just after lunch time. There was a fireman's funeral going on at that exact time. It didn't take long to find the FBC. When we arrived, this is what we saw. I had no idea the southern baptist convention had their own disaster relief team! How amazing is that!! They had sent people from all over Texas to help out. People were serving meals, cleaning, unloading supplies and every single person had so much joy in their service. They were genuinely happy to be there. God loves it when we serve faithfully and without heaviness in our hearts. 




And this is the one that really got me......

When I saw this sign, I just was so humbled. From this suburban mom living a posh life, God really gave me a good sense of reality that day and just how blessed I am. I could not imagine having to leave my house to shower or wash clothes. I can't fathom dragging all 3 Caney boys across town just to get cleaned up. And this is what these precious people were doing. 



There were trucks of food as well as outdoor kitchens where volunteers were cooking the food. 



The boys helped unload the truck!

After unloading our supplies and chatting with some volunteers, we headed outside of town to visit family. We drove under this. 

So sobering. There was a funeral procession coming right after us towards the cemetary to bury one of the fallen firemen. As we drove on down the road, there were paulbearers on horses lined up along the road and cemetery gate. I just kept thinking, "What if that had been MY husband?" How could I even fathom such a loss?

With all the devastation that our country has faced over the past few weeks- first the Boston marathon bombing, then the West explosion, and now just last week-- the tornado in Moore, OK, so many of us are looking for awswers. Why, God, why? The hardest question to answer as a believer is "Why would God allow such tragedy to happen. What kind of God allows children and firemen to die and allows murderers and rapists and such to live and carry on?" 

Friends, I wish I knew. I wish I had an answer. In the West explosion, while as terrible as it was, actually going in to the town, I have never seen so much service and collaboration. God provided meals, water, showers, and laundry. God provided Himself. People were crying out, praying for help and He arrived. It may not be in the exact package they asked for, but he arrived.  God likes to show off in that way! He doesn't always work things out the way we ask, he works it out His way. We will never truly know the exact reason for every terrible things that has happened to us until we meet our Father one day. Only He knows. He allows us poverty, destruction, terror, and tragedy. He doesn't create those trenches. He is all powerful. But He only makes good. However, he doesn't always keep us from falling in those deep trenches. It is when we are at the bottom of them, and on our knees, that we realize only He can get us out. And that is His grand plan folks. It's all for His glory. How many people down in West and now up in Moore are praising God for what they still have? How many people are learning to lean on a Savior because they have seen the handy work of his angels in the form of kindnmess and provision? We will never know. But He knows, friends. He knows it all. 

And so I leave you with this. The FBC had it posted on their marquee. Fabulous news. There is nothing bigger than Him. 



May 1, 2013

{Unconventional} Marriage Secrets Day 10

   
    First of all, we want to say how much we have enjoyed blogging together. It was never really something we intended. I came up with this marriage series idea while were in Vegas a couple weeks ago. I always let Michael read anything I write before I hit 'publish' to check for left out words, theological soundness, etc. I never had thought about him co-writing with me, but the Lord works things out for His good, right?  Having a male perspective has given perspective to my mostly female audience as well as gained some male readers. We have received so many emails, texts, Facebook messages, and face to face conversations regarding how much everyone loves reading our story. I say this in NO way at all to toot our own horns, but to say that it is clear the Lord has called us and desires to use us.


{Unconventional} Marriage Secret #1: Don't Go To Bed Alone

This sounds so simple and mindless right? But let's dissect this. Look back at Secrets 2-10:

2. Keep IT Sacred
3. Just Do IT
4. Secrets Don't Make Friends
5. Pray- Together & Apart
6. Ask For Help
7. Have Your Own 'Things'
8. Honor Your Temple
9. Don't Yo Momma
10. Break Your Molds

  I really believe that if you just go to bed togther at the same time as often as you can, most of the above 'secrets' can be accomplished. In the eight years we have been married, other than one of us traveling, I can count maybe 10 times that one of us has gone to bed without the other. Monthly, I go to Bunco with my girlfriends. It's usually around 10 or so when i come home. Even if he's sleepy, Michael stays out on the couch until I get home safe and we can go to bed together. I am not the biggest sports fan in the world and come fall, he loves to stay up and watch Monday night football. This bores me to no end. But rather than go and do my own thing, I sit on the couch with him. I fall asleep there on the couch because to me, it's better to fall asleep on the couch next to him than fall asleep in bed alone.

I feel like, if both of us are making a point to go to bed at the same time, even if we are not being physically intimate, it keeps 'us' sacred and connected. While we may have a ton of craziness that drags us apart during the day, it's the one thing that we come together for every night, and I can always count on that.

  Something about your bed, your marriage bed, makes you both vulnerable. It puts each of you on the same playing field whether it be praying together or sharing secrets. The Bible tells us "it is not good that man should be alone." (Gen 2:18) So then God created Eve. God could have just made Adam, right? He could've chosen for Adam to be alone. But no, he made Eve. He created her, from Adam, to be his helper. Not his clone or his twin, but his helper. In His sovereingty He could have also chosen to make just Eve. Or he could've created both of them, but never put them together in the garden. God wants us to be with our mate, to be close to them. This is my own theoligical interpretation----; God removed a rib from Adam, and from that he formed Eve. We know that to be true based on Genesis 2:21. So my thoughts are: Why the rib? Why not the femur because it's the strongest bone? Why not the pelvis because it is the center for childbearing? The ribs encase and protect __________? Yes! The heart! The ribs protect the heart!!!!

They protect that which gives us physical life and breath. The heart is at the center of everything. It's because of Jesus we are given a new heart in Salvation. And, through the Holy Spirit,  we have a new heart that lives, beats, and breaths for God. And God created us ladies-- Eve--- to protect this in our man. By being with our Adam, we are protecting his heart- his life. How special is that? 

So I guess it's my turn one last time to chime in here. I don't think about a blog entry before I write it. It's based on Becca's heart and what she is feeling. When I contribute, it's based only on how her post inspires and impresses me. 

I agree with all she said. Until now, I had never thought about the heart/rib thing. I'll do some additional study, but it begs a question for sure. 

It's interesting how this plays out for us. We are not saying don't go to bed mad. We are not even saying don't go to bed alone. We are just saying to keep it sacred and stay connected. In our marriage, this works. If I stay up late without Becca, my heart can wander. I have a dark and sinful heart. I get lonely. I can get lustful. Having Becca near me enables me to guard my heart. 

We stay on a similar schedule. Sometimes I fall asleep in her lap and she wakes me up for bed. Other times I wake her up for bed. Either way, we are together. I cannot imagine saying "well... I'm going to bed" and going to bed alone. It's funny now that I think about it. We just don't do it. I think it's our way of stating commitment to each other. 

So here's the question: How are you showing your commitment? How are you guarding your heart? Men, are you giving your wife space and permission to lead beside you? 

April 26, 2013

{Unconventional} Marriage Secrets Day 9



{Unconventional} Marriage Secret #2 :  Keep 'IT' Sacred


     So in our last post we talked about the importance of sex in marriage and how we as spouses are called to come together with our bodies because ultimately it glorifies God.

       So today we are going to dig in to keeping intimacy sacred and holy as God intended and how easily it can be polluted.  It is also possible to go overboard and hold the actual act of sex on a pedestal and idolize it, which is just as sinful as withholding it like we talked about yesterday.

       Michael and I have both read the book Wired for Intimacy- How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain-- and I highly recommend it for any believer- married or not! I think so many ladies are way too oblivious about what goes on with their man and inside his head as well as what goes on inside their own heads and what that can lead to. I don't think women realize that even something as simple as that darn Victorias's Secret catalog that comes 3 times a week is, in reality, pornography on some level. The male brain is scientifically proven to be visually stimulated. It just takes one tiny flash of skin to turn a man's head. For example, Michael and I were scrolling through my Pinterest feed on my phone. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw this thumbnail and flung his head around and said, "Whoa! Is that somebody naked?" This is a photo of a leg and it's a link to an article on dry brushing for skin tone, cellulite removal, detox, etc. Nothing sexual about it. And me, in my woman brain would've never thought about it sexually at all. But when a man sees a glimpse of this naked leg his brain starts firing.

    And ladies, here is my soapbox for you.  Our 'porn' is not what you think it is. Our 'porn' is not Hustler or Playboy magazines or even the ones that feature men. Our 'porn' is trashy romance novels, movies like Magic Mike, and even photos on Pinterest of a shirtless Ryan Gosling or Taylor Lautner. Think about it, even when you watch a movie that has a romantic scene like in The Notebook or even Dirty Dancing (my sinful personal fave), if it makes you think lustful or longing thoughts, it is porn. Anything that takes your heart or head to that place that is not your husband is pornography. And pornography is the gateway drug to infidelity. Your husband should be your standard of desire. Your eyes should undress no one but him, your heart long for only him.


Matthew 5:27-28 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."


So this is Michael chiming in and in true MC fashion I will be honest. We live in an over sexualized culture that has most of us deceived. Bachelor parties are synonymous with strip clubs. The Super Bowl half time show is not something I let my kids watch at their age. The top 40 hit Locked Out of Heaven features the lyric "your sex takes me to paradise". You think ole Bruno and his baby face is singing about sacred love between a husband and wife? I think not. 

Everything in our culture is about sex. Marketers learned a long time ago that sex sells and they have been taking advantage of you ever since. It's funny... one of my competitors in my business uses it as a recruiting tactic. He find the hottest "transportation barbies" as we call them and sends them to career fairs. 

But Who Does it Hurt... Really

What is the consequence though? It's a victimless crime you've been told. What you do in the privacy of your own home is no one else's business. It's your choice, your body and people can do as they wish with their bodies. If you believe any of that crap you are stupid. Yes... STUPID IGNORANT AND BLIND. Porn is not victimless. 

Do some research on sex trafficking in the United States. 

Porn hijacks the male brain. It changes the hedonic set point - google it. Sexual addiction is more powerful than heroin. Viewing pornography literally short circuits your brain and the way you engage the world. I am not going to make a case because I will do a bad job of it. But I am going to provide resources here that you can review for yourself. Don't hide in shame. Deal with your dark passenger. Statistically speaking, most men struggle with this. It's not the multi-billion dollar industry it is for no reason. 

Consider The Cost

It is not victimless. We color sex trafficking up in the US and call it porn. Most of the girls involved in pornography are drunk, high, and have been duped into the lifestyle. Makers of porn prey on young girls that have been abused and suffer form low self worth. Every time you click on "free" porn you are complicit in advocating and perpetuating the abuse. 

Please review the material I link. Read the short e-book Porn Again Christian. Pay attention to the Jeffrey Dahmer story. Read the info we provide. Take some time to educate yourself in the things to which you expose yourself.  Read the link below One Real Man's Story. He is a real person we know in our real life and whom we love dearly.  What are you inviting into your home through television, movies, books, etc? What legacy are you creating? Search your soul. Stop the darkness. Women, learn what your men are going through. Stop your own stupid fantasies that drive us away. We can never measure up to the BS fantasy you have in your head of some Ryan Gosling internet meme! Stop! 


Resources:
A list on TheResurgence 
Porn Again Christian
One Real Man's Story
Scroll Down to Topics of Sexuality
Wired for Intamacy
Hookers for Jesus
Resources relating to Rid of My Disgrace
Rid of My Disgrace - For victims of sexual assault

April 22, 2013

{Unconventional} Marriage Secrets Day 8


{Unconventional} Marriage Secret #3: Just Do 'It'

Warning: Mom & Dad--- Feel free to skip this one if you like :)

     Michael and I feel that sex is SOOOO utterly important to marriage. Also, we think sex is so important, we are devoting two out of our  ten secrets to it, today's post as well as tomorrow's.  And ladies, notice how I am saying "we" not just "he."We have continued to mention that we have had struggles and terrible times in our marriage, but somehow, the one thing we have pretty much always managed to keep intact is our intimate life. If you have ever spent any time around us as a couple, you can sense the passion and deep love we have for one another.

     From the very beginning of the Bible, God instructed Adam and Eve to be "fruitful and multiply". He said "two shall become of one flesh" and so God is telling married couples to have sex! So as He is calling me to speak His truth, I am telling you to "do it".

        Sex was made by God and to glorify God. He loves it when you do it with your spouse. He loves it when you do it to serve each other and not to control one another. It helps you connect, it protects your marriage, it relieves stress, it is FUN. Why are we not all having sex all the time?

Plan For It

     Early in our marriage when we were kid free it really seemed like any time and place worked. Right? Even when we just had one kid who slept alone in his crib and spent many weekends away at my parents, we still managed to maintain some spontaneity in our physical life. But the more kids we add and the more activities those kids have, it;s like Farmer in the Dell up in here and we just can't seem to muster up the time or energy to do it. Can I get an Amen?

     I've said before it is often 9 pm before I sit down in the day to unload and decompress. When I walk downstairs after tucking in all the boys- disagreeing on school clothes for Mikey,  reading Clifford's Birthday for the 157th time to Linc, and nursing Knox-- sometimes physical connection is the farthest thing from my mind. I often need to switch over from Mom Becca to Wife Becca. But what happens if I am too tired and never make that switch. Or too hi-strung from the stressors of my day? And then it goes on to the next night? And then the next?

    We can tell when it's been too long because we will both start picking at each other and about silly things. Usually, we are able to identify the problem- lack of sex. So at that point, we make a plan. No distractions, sucker up and just do IT! We no longer live our lives where there are abundant opportunities for sex. As a busy couple, the actual window opportunity is pretty narrow.

      And I will be honest, sometimes I am like "okay, let's go on with it" but sex is like working out. It may take some effort to get your running shoes on and get to the gym, but once you sweat it all out on the treadmill you never regret it right? There has never been a time when afterwards I said to myself "Gosh, I wish I hadn't taken the time to do that." Sex is also a lot like pizza.  Even bad pizza is still delicious. Even bad or quick sex is still sex.

   And on that let's talk about frequency. I am not here to say there is a set amount of times per week or month that we should be consummating as couples. I think that depends on the couple. For some couples 'normal'= weekly. For others it could be daily. I think that it's 'normal' if both spouses desires and needs are being met.

   So I challenge you this--- when was the last time you did IT? If it has been more than a few days, pencil it in, text your husband, add it to your Google calendars and set an alarm reminder on your phone!! Just do IT. It is important. And remember, bad sex is still better than no sex or even bad pizza.

Give It Freely

    So here is where I think ladies struggle more than men. On this specific post I'm not going to go into all the biological details of how women work vs. how men work. But simply put-- women are like crock pots and men are like microwaves. Right? As a whole, women need the mental warm up in order to be physically intimate.  Some women, however, either knowingly or unknowingly, use that 'warm up' time to control and manipulate the situation. They make their men do all sorts of tricks in order just to get a little lovin' time because they think men will often do almost anything for sex.

   Ladies-- nowhere in the Bible does it say "Have sex with your husband if he is nice. Have sex with your husband if he buys you gifts. Have sex with your husband if he does all his chores."
SEX in marriage is not a privilege to be earned. It is just a part of marriage. It is to be given freely. If you are making your husband earn sex then essentially you are engaging in prostitution! Do not make him 'pay' for SEX.  One of my favorite verses is
For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

It means exactly what you think it does. It then goes on to say that one is not to deprive the other of sexual relations unless there is consent from both, and even then, only for a short period of time.  Michael and I are huge fans of the controversial marriage book by Mark & Grace Driscoll, Real Marriage. They have some awesome advice on sex for our generation of married couples.

Now, of course there are reasons, logical reasons that difficulties and 'dry' seasons come up in intimacy. Maybe the wife just had a baby and she is feeling exhausted. Maybe the husband is struggling in his business and is feeling insecure about his worth as a man. Maybe there has been some secret sin in the marriage. We will go into depth about these type of things at another time.

Bottom line-------> If you are choosing to be and stay married, you choose to do all parts of marriage, especially sex.

Yeah... what she said. 

I'm a little leery about agreeing to putting all this out there. While all things here need to be said, they are personal. These things are private. There is a much more delicate way to say things. It is certainly possible to be a little more guarded and vague. But could that be a problem in our churches and conversations?

Tomorrow we will get more into some of the conversations we should be having. 

For now let's revisit our earlier post about models. It's possible many people have unrealistic models in our head about what our sex life should be. Herein lies another problem. You shouldn't have an idea or model outside your spouse. Your spouse should be your standard of beauty. You two need to TALK ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE. Sit down over a cup of coffee or glass of wine and TALK. Talk about what you like and dislike. Talk about what you expect. Be honest about what's in your head and allow the other to feel safe to share with you. 

I have it better than most being married to Becca. She has a really balanced, healthy, and biblical view of sex. She has done a great job going after the women here and calling them out to step up in love and service to their husbands. Men, revisit my comments in this prior post. Think about what your wife wants! 

When was the last time you thought about what she wanted? When was the last time you thought about the tough day she had wiping butts and playing chauffeur to your crazy kids? I've been in sales for 11 years. I've been managing sales people for 6. I've been in charge of training our entire sales staff over a year. Here is the cornerstone of communication in any sales relationship; sell the way your customers want to buy. Sell to your wife the way she wants to buy. This is beyond business. This is how people are wired. They want to matter. They want to feel loved. Use it at home - it works! 

You've heard the golden rule right? What about the platinum rule? Treat others the way they like to be treated. Men, we tend to be selfish. We tend to think with our sex drive. Slowwww down. Think. Think about your wife. You live in your pants, but your wife lives in her head. That's where you have to meet her. You gotta talk, man. Becca said above for women not to use "romance" to manipulate. I'm telling you don't use your privileges as a husband as an excuse to not be romantic. 

Here's a practical tip. Pick a sex night. It can be the same night every week. It can be an alternating night you pick. But pick a night. Husbands, be sure that you are giving her what she needs while you are getting what you need. 

April 21, 2013

{Unconventional} Marriage Secrets Day 7

{Unconventional} Marriage Secret #4: Secrets Don't Make Friend

      Today friends, we are talking about honesty.

      If you know me, you know that I am a terrible liar. I have a hard time concealing anything, and there is not much that embarrasses me. But in writing this series, I am learning that my husband and I really are one, and his junk is my junk, his sin is my sin,  his secrets are my secrets, and vice versa.  Are there secrets that you are keeping or have kept from your spouse?? We keep secrets because we have shame. We fear rejection. We fear the domino effect of the events that may unfold once our secret is exposed.   The beauty of being in a marriage where God is in the center, is that when we do stumble and when we do hide things, the darkness always comes to light.

       If you do have an area that needs some light shedding, the enemy love to throw shame your way. He wins by heaping condemnation on your head. But the loving Holy Spirit guides us into conviction and to the arms of the grace of the Father.

      I am telling you friends, secrets will destroy your life and destroy your marriage. One of the most important lessons we have learned along the way is that if one of you struggles with something, the worst thing you can do is to hide it from your spouse. Because you can never hide anything from Jesus.  And if you can share your struggles with your spouse, your spouse can struggle with you. They can hold you accountable and help you and be a resting place of comfort when you struggle.

     Don't let secrets and dishonestly devour your marriage. Allow the beautiful light of the Father to expose everything.

In other words... secrets will kill you. Not your marriage at first. They will kill you. Then the sin of your secret will kill your marriage. I'm not saying people with secrets all get divorced, but I am saying many of us have dead marriages. 

When we have a secret, it's a secret for a reason. That secret carries some amount of shame or guilt. It's a secret because if it came out there might be a consequence. We might have to own something or change something. Even worse, we may have to give something up. For many of us, we love our secret. 

Our secrets bring us comfort. The emotional affair in which we are engaged is comforting. The pornography we view has hijacked our brain. What's more the women on the screen don't reject or ask anything of you. Women... I'm not letting you off easy. Your fantasies - your ridiculous and unrealistic fantasies are secrets that are subversive to your husband and you should fall down in repentance. 50 Shades of Gray, Magic Mike, Swooning over Taylor Lautner before he becomes wolf boy... it's just porn for women. Bring into the light the secrets of your heart. 

Some of us have past sins we carry. We have things we don't want to deal with. Some of us carry shame from things that were done to us. I've met many women that carry the secret of abuse around. They allow it to alter their identity and they bring that fractured identity into their marriage. It's not your fault. Bring it into the light. Get some healing. 

I've got a story for another time. But I can tell you that I (Michael) carried secrets. I carried (and still do) struggles that I have had since I was a child. Bearing them alone only made things worse. The baby snake grew to a monster beast that was about to kill me. Then I killed it... I drug it into the light and killed it. It fights and kicks, but at least it's out there. 

What secret do you need to tell your spouse?

April 20, 2013

{Unconventional} Marriage Secrets Day 6


{Unconventional} Marriage Secret # 5:Pray For Each Other- Together and Apart

      I know this sounds like a no brainer, but it's one of those things you don't realize works until you actually put it into practice. There are two parts- praying for each other together and praying for each other while apart.

I see all of these cutesy little things on Pinterest like "31 Days of Prayer for Your Husband" or "10 Ways to Pray for Your Husband." Those are fine and dandy if you need something to follow. I am not knocking them whatsoever. But I fear many ladies out there may use these tools to just go through the motions and check off their 'wife duty' for the day without really realizing the power and importance of prayer for your mate.

Did you know that when you pray for someone it softens your heart towards them? Don't believe me? Think of someone you are in strife with or someone who just really makes you crazy. Make it a point to pray for them daily. It may not be today or tomorrow but over time, the Lord will soften your heart towards that person.  When Michael and I are going through a difficult time, if I just stop and pray for him, my heart is softer and much more approachable.  When you pray, you are initiating a voluntary conversation with God, creating an atmosphere where the Holy Spirit is much more welcome to speak His truth.

       Praying together is something we still struggle with. I think because it makes us so vulnerable. We never even actually did it until a couple of years ago and we both admit we need to do it more. Have you ever prayed for your spouse where they can physically hear you? There is something so humbling about it. When you hear your spouse talk to the Lord about you it speaks volumes about the way he sees you.

Becca must be going soft. This is the most sugar coated post she's written yet! Here's the truth, friends. We suck at this!! 

Right now we are going through it. Our 6 year old is going through some things emotionally, our middle one is mad at the world and yells about everything, and our baby has to have tubes next week. Add to that I am in the busiest and most trying time I've ever been through professionally. I barely have time to think. We are going through some transitions as it relates to church. We are starting a slight remod to the home. Everything is tumultuous. 

We are great about trudging through things. We can take a lick and keep on going. Neither of us rests well let alone pray well. Becca and I can fight things out. We can talk and figure stuff out. I love to solve problems. I can see things before they happen. I can figure out what Becca is really thinking and diagnose root cause (she hates that). Unfortunately, the last thing we do with one another is sit down and pray about things together. 

Usually my quick wit and condescending tone wins out over a careful, contemplative, and prayerful heart. If you have read any of our blogs lately I hope you will see a couple of themes. One major theme is intentionality. If we are not intentional about making time for and prioritizing things that matter, they will not happen. This is a place where we are not giving advice. We are offering you insight into our struggle and inviting you to struggle with us. 

How do you and your spouse make time to pray and hear God together?